Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The second time: So painful, So precious

Our Handsome Trey!

The best christmas gifts!

Isn't he precious!!

Trey in the NICU HE was so tiny. This is what premie clothes looked like on him
My first time holding Trey

Trey's NICU nurse
First christmas

If ever Our patience was tried, it would be with adoption #2.

When Addie was not quite 2, we decided to adopt again. At first, we were going through LDS Family services because we like the thought of only paying 5,000 versus 15,000-20,000 through other agencies. However, I never really had the best feeling about going through them. LDS Family services is great for some people but for others they may wait for years and still have no success.
After going through LDS for a year, we received a random phone call from an awesome agency here in Utah who was looking for a family for a baby due in a few weeks. We submitted our profile and the birth mother selected us. We spoke with her on the phone. She said she was 100% certain she was giving up this baby. She wanted to meet us and requested we be there for the birth. We purchased our airplane tickets( the birth mother was from Alabama) and never heard from the birth mother again. She disappeared. The only thing we heard afterwards is that her doctor told her she would go to hell if she placed her baby for adoption. We had lost over 1,000 dollars and we were crushed. I had already bought little matching Easter dresses for Addie and the baby. The baby's dress is still hanging in my closet.

A few weeks later we received a phone call from the agency saying a birth mother in Louisiana was having a nervous breakdown and was placing her 3 month old baby girl for adoption. Once again we were selected by the birth mother and spoke to her on the phone. She said we needed to fly out that night and pick up the baby. The agency told us to hold on until they could get an attorney to relinquish her rights before we purchased our tickets. Meanwhile, the birth father heard of her plans and came and took custody of the baby.

A few days later A Angel Adoptions in Alabama contacted us and said that a birth mother had just delivered a baby girl. She had signed the papers but was really wishy- washy. The night before her rights would have been permanently terminated, she and her sister picked up the baby from the foster mom's house and said that her family convinced her to keep the baby.

About a week later another mother decided to place her baby girl for adoption. We heard her story. She had a Masters degree in social work but was on crack. This made me uncomfortable and so we didn't pursue this situation.

The Utah agency contacted us again, and said they had a birth mother in Florida having a boy. She wanted to have her baby in Utah. We paid to fly her out here. She never got on the Plane. We later heard she was scamming agencies.

We were contacted by another Utah agency about a birth mother from New York who was not satisfied with any of the families she had to pick from. They asked us to submit our profile and see if she liked us. She turned us down.

I called my sister- in -law on the phone. I told her I was done. I was giving up. I couldn't take any more fall-throughs. I had been on an emotional roller coaster for a long time and it was time to get off. At that moment I noticed my call waiting. I answered the phone. It was the Alabama agency. They informed me there was a four week old boy that was born prematurely. He had been in the NICU for four weeks and was being released. The birth mother had signed 30 days ago. Her time was already up and this baby was ours if we wanted him. I said "yes" and then panicked. I, by that time, was so used to things going wrong that I was afraid to get my hopes up. It took me about a day to realize that this situation was a good one.

We first met our Baby boy, Trey DeGraffenried Huff on our 8th anniversary. Which made it our second baby to get on a special day . We picked up Addie on Mother's day. Trey was born a little over three pounds. When we got him at 6 weeks old He was barely five pounds. He was so tiny and so precious. I fell in love with him instantly! After everything we went through it was all worth it when we met our baby boy.

He continues to bless us with his sweet spirit. Although he is very temper tantrumy two year old, there is something so precious about him. I can't imagine not having him in my family. I am so glad things worked out the way they did.

The interesting thing is, almost all of our fall -throughs were girls and we now have two beautiful boys. I wouldn't trade them for the world but I still get a little teary eyed when I see the Easter dress hanging in my closet.


Denise said...

Oh wow how Discouraging! I would be devastated and I have heard so many stories like yours. But, I am glad that you stuck with it and finally got your little boys.

Hopefully one day you will get a little girl to wear that Easter Dress. Or else years down the road maybe Addies baby.

The Lewis's said...

I didn't know this story about Trey. I am so sorry. Trey is a blessing to all of us, and I am Greatful he came to our family. You are an incredible mother, and never forget that! Denise's comment is right! If you don't get another girl. How precious to think that Addie's baby could wear that Easter dress. I Love you my sweet sister! Good for you for doing this blog! I am impressed, and so is Stewart. Lots of Loves, Angie Lewis

Kirsten said...

I had no idea about your adoption stories so it is neat to read this blog. That must have been one of the hardest times of your life. so sorry to hear it. But isn't it a strange way the Lord works? He gives us trials but blesses us 1000 times more! Your story is inpirational... Thanks for sharing it! It gives me hope that some day maybe I will have that opportunity to adopt.